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Emerton Seanne

 A Note from our Founder...

 Welcoming the New Year!

 All of us at Family Resources want to wish each and every one of you a new  year that is full of  promise, hope and possibility.

 We are welcoming our new year with lots of newness!

 We have a new website design which we hope you find easy to navigate  and helpful. Our motto,  “Enjoy Life, Move Forward!”, is intended to bring  inspiration in moving toward the possibilities  and opportunities in your life.  We are here to guide and witness your path.

 We have a team of experienced and ethical providers to assist you. We welcome these new members to our team:

TCarlson   Dr. Tabitha Carlson (specializing in health psychology and treating sleep disorders, weight issues and pain management.)



TillmanD

 Dr. Doug Tillman (our clinical director, and a counseling professor at UNK who also serves on the board of the National Counseling Association)
 

 Jordan
 
Jordan Allen (specializing in adolescents, adults and couples)

 

 HainA
Anna Hain (an intern with us specializing in children and wellness)

 

May your new year be rich in opportunities for you and yours. All the best, Seanne

Ryan Linda

Therapist's Corner...
Depression and Optimism

According to research, people who are optimistic are also less depressed as a group. Maybe that seems reasonable to you, that optimistic people have a tendency to be less depressed. So does it stand that people who are less depressed are also more optimistic? Yes, it does! Is it up to chance? If I am pessimistic, the glass is half empty, then, will I always be pessimistic? Or can I change?

This is the time of year when depression just seems to catch up to us. The daylight is short, and many times there is little sunshine. We do not spend nearly as much time outside as we do during the warmer months. In fact, we probably watch more television, eat more, and isolate more often than spend time with others. When this happens, we can easily become depressed.

There are many ways to avoid depression such as exercise, time with friends, and better eating habits. But I am going to focus on simply changing the way we think and speak. Your habit of thinking about the causes of both positive and negative events and how you interpret those causes is your explanatory style. You can have either a negative explanatory style or a positive one. Usually your explanatory style develops in childhood, and continues unless there is a specific intervention. Another way of looking at this is that you are likely either an optimist or a pessimist. Most of us know which one we are. But, with specific interventions, yes!, we can change our explanatory style.

In terms of thinking about negative events, a pessimist thinks the cause is something that will persist (permanent), while the optimist thinks that the cause is something that is changeable or transient (temporary). The pessimist thinks, “Bad things always happen to me”, while an optimist thinks, “I had a bad experience today”. The difference is simply in one word. It is that simple. Try keeping your thoughts about negative experiences in the temporary, instead of permanent.

“I never get included.” “This time I didn’t get included.”
“I can’t ever remember anything.” “At times, I don’t remember.”
“It always happens to me.” “Sometimes it happens.”

Research has shown that changing one simple word or going from permanent to temporary in your way of explaining negative event to yourself and others can have significant impact on your ability to avoid depression, or to reverse the symptoms of depression. Try it for awhile and see what happens!

~ Linda Ryan, Therapist

HainA

Therapist's Corner...
Storytelling 

In my family, storytelling is a strong tradition passed down on both sides. I have come to love stories and the way in which they can give hope and remind us of what we know to be true for ourselves. The following story seems fitting for the beginning of a new year, a time when people are trying out new resolutions to become better, fitter, nicer, healthier, or wealthier versions of themselves. Interestingly enough, it is my belief that most of us spend the majority of our time either brooding about past failures or hurts, or focusing on what could happen in the future. We carry around these thoughts about things that have come to pass or situations that may never occur. While holding onto unhelpful thoughts we miss out on life, on the potential that lies right in front of us.

"The Burden" 

On a very rainy day a younger and an elder monk were returning to their monastery. The streets were filled with puddles of water. A young woman patiently waited on one side of the road trying to determine how she could cross the puddles with full, heavy baskets in each arm. So the elder monk helped her get across and lifted her to the other side of the road. After that both monks calmly started to continue their way. But in the evening the younger monk couldn't stand it any longer. So he came up to the elder asking: "I thought as monks we aren't allowed to touch women!?"

"That is true, brother." the elder monk replied. That didn't satisfy the younger monk at all: "But Sir, how come you carried the woman to the other side?"

Silently, the elder monk started to smile. After a while he answered the young: "I set her down and left her on the other side, but you are still carrying her."

This tale highlights the struggle we all face when it is not chocolate that we need to let go of but instead it is our thoughts that are “weighing” us down.

~ Anna Hain, Clinical Mental Health Intern

Sandstrom JudyTips from our EAP...
Balancing Work & Family (Pt. 2)

All of us must allocate 24 hours a day to the activities of life. How well we balance responsibilities with doing things we truly enjoy directly affects our quality of life. It also helps manage stress. Are you satisfied with your balance of time between work and family? In our last newsletter, we began looking at ten ways to balance work with family. Here are the final five:
1. Make a Conscious Decision
2. Write down Family Goals
3. Stick to Your Goals
4. Understand Imbalance WILL Happen
5. Review Your Schedule for Changes and Opportunities

And now the final five ways to balance work and family:

6. Recognize the Benefits of Balance. Balancing work and family has pay-offs for children, home relationships, and everyone’s future happiness. Recognizing this can help you keep balance in mind.

7. Manage Distractions and Procrastination. Working long hours causes stress that some times finds relief naturally through work place distractions and procrastination. If you are at the office for 12 hours, do you really work only 10? If you are searching for more family time, it might be found here.

8. Discuss Expectations and Responsibilities. When one family member is taking on too many responsibilities at home, resentments can build. Periodically discussing the perceptions of others can provide the awareness you need to consider opportunities and choices for work and family balance.

9. Organize Your Work Better. Improving your delegation and time-management skills can buy you time needed for family life. Learning how to put work down, say “no,” and let go of workplace worries are skills that are learned through practice.

10. What You Can Do. Despite these suggestions, improving balance of work and family may be a lot easier said than done. Family Resources can help you find sources for defining priorities, acquiring assertiveness skills, making tough decisions, or even identifying family goals that you want to pursue so you can look back and say, “I did it.”

~ Judy Sandstrom, EAP Coordinator

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