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Waddington TracyTherapist's Corner...
What Do Our Children Need to Begin a New School Chapter

     As a Clinician who absolutely loves working with young elementary to middle school, to high school aged, I am always fascinated by what I learn from these kindered spirits! As a Mother to 2 boys, I will share that this population is one of my passions!! They grow me, teach me, stretch me, and inspire me to not only be a better parent myself, but help me to realize what growing up in today’s world is like. Dealing with stressors, fitting in, relationships, getting along, following rules, sexuality, drugs and alcohol, peer pressures, working jobs, sports, grades/homework, and the like; we might wonder why they seem to be so indifferent, lost, isolative, hurting, sad/depressed, anxious, and most importantly; trying to figure out who they are in their own skin, and better yet, how do they fit into this world, let alone their own world.
     So what do our children need to feel special, to feel valued, to feel self-confident, to have a voice, to understand right from wrong, to follow their dreams, and to have good morals and values?? They need adults in their world to LISTEN… They teach me this every day, through tears and sadness, anger and hurt. They need their Parents or caregiver to listen. They need to know that the adults whom they are to look up to for guidance, discipline, and love have their backs. They need to know that Mom and Dad/caregiver are SAFE people who will hear them, work with them to guide and encourage their children to solve their issues, and how to deal with life when life doesn’t go their way.
     When I think back many years ago when I graduated high school, I grew up in a small town, went to a small school. I remember even then feeling lost wondering Who am I? How do I fit in? Who can I talk to that I feel safe with that can help me?
     Our young people more than ever need encouragement, they need to have that check in daily even if “it annoys” them that says “I care, I love you, and I am here for you.” Check in with your child by asking them how their day was, what did they do? What were some of the highs and lows of their day? One of the most important questions I ask of my young people with their Parents/Caregiver is “What is one thing that you need emotionally from Mom or Dad or Caregiver that you are not getting from them right now in your life?” Besides the usual “I don’t know,”
   THEY DO KNOW BUT SOMETIMES ARE AFRAID TO HAVE A VOICE TO SHARE IT SAFELY. Don’t give up on your child when they seem disinterested, stay with it, they are likely testing you as that Parent or Caregiver to see if you will give up on the question, or will just leave them alone. Put the electronics away and speak to them from your heart, that you love them, and that although talking about feelings may be a difficult thing to do, it is what fuels the soul and the heart for your child(ren) to know that they count, that you are safe. After all, if they cannot come to you now, what makes you think that they are going to feel safe coming to you later with bigger issues/concerns.
     Make time for your child(ren) they need you, they like us, need to know that they are important and that we will make and carve out time for them each and every day to connect, to share, to grow, and most importantly to listen!! Life is to short, allow your children to know you are there with them every difficult step of the way, and every proud moment of the way!!    

Tracy Waddington, Therapist

CHeadrickTherapist's Corner...
Grief – The Struggle of Finding the New You

     A little over a year ago, I wrote about my experience of grieving the death of my very best and nearly life-long friend.  I offer an admission and an opinion. I admit that grieving has not been as easy as I had hoped it would be. It is my opinion that the experience of grieving isn’t talked about enough, even though every one of us must go through it in our lifetime.  I am convinced that losing someone we love, and grieving that loss, are among the most difficult realities each of us live through.
    During this past year I found an article that was very helpful to me and I would like to share parts of it with you. The article is Building a New Identity after the Death of a Loved One, by Lou LaGrand, Ph.D.   Dr. LaGrand states, “Most people who are mourning the death of a loved one are not aware that their difficult experience also includes a change in identity. They are not the same persons they used to be and identity change is a major part of the adjustment process. 
     Identity is ‘who I think I am’. After the death of a loved one, a mourner usually must deal with a number of changes. The part of the self that interacted with the loved one also dies and the mourner is no longer able to interact with the physical presence of the deceased. Many mourners refuse to acknowledge that death imposes identity change and resist the transition. However, it is inevitable that the survivor has to integrate the old and the new worlds”.
    The remainder of the article gives seven specific components to this process of building a new identity.  There are copies of the entire article at the front desk – feel free to ask for one. The information in it, along with the quote, “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life
as it is, rather than as you think it should be” (Wayne W. Dyer), has helped me to put some key pieces of my grieving into place, along with an understanding of the “snags” that appear and the patience needed to unravel them.
        As before, I am sending positive energy to all of you who are in the process of trying to navigate an experience of grief at this time.  Any of us here at Family Resources would be honored to help you if you would like. 

 ~ Carlene Headrick, Therapist

HainAFrom Our EAP...
Election Year Politics: Protocols for Office Talk

    Most are familiar with the old adage cautioning against discussing religion or politics in polite company, but a recent survey indicates that many are not heeding this advice when it comes to talking politics at the office. 
     According to a 2007 survey by Vault, 66% of respondents say that their co-workers discuss politics at work, while 46% have witnessed a political argument at the office.  
Passion and Politics
     With election season in full swing, impassioned political debate has the potential to escalate into conflict of a deeply personal nature, some of which may create bad will among co-workers that can far outlast the current issues of the day.
   While a certain amount of political discussion at work is unavoidable, it’s not surprising that such talk often leads to heated and emotional argument.  Political viewpoints often serve as umbrellas that cover a spectrum of deeply held personal beliefs that are formed by an individual’s religion, culture, upbringing, economic class and other influences.
     While the line is clear in the conduct of official business, it’s not as clear when socializing with coworkers while on the job.  The following are a few guidelines to help you steer clear of any unintended harmful side-effects that may come about when expressing your political views.
    ■Be mindful of those around you. While a boisterous political discussion may seem to you to be the perfect way to spend your lunch break, others may not share your enthusiasm for politics.  Never take an individual’s silence as agreement. It is equally likely to signal discomfort. 
    ■Before launching into a political discussion, ask all within earshot two questions: 1) Are you comfortable having a political discussion with me? 2) Do you mind overhearing me talk about politics? If the answer to either of these questions is no, then it is not appropriate to continue.
    ■Remember that others may feel as strongly as you. While it can be frustrating when someone refuses to be swayed by your seemingly reasonable arguments, it’s important to remember that others have deeply and honestly held convictions as well.  Bullying and/or pestering others until they come around to your viewpoint is inappropriate behavior and will likely create conflict, workplace disruption, and hard feelings.
   Avoiding escalation always begins with respecting the rights of others to believe differently than you. When in doubt, it’s best to “agree to disagree” and drop the issue.
    ■Never make it personal. People of good faith can disagree on all manner of things.  A particular political viewpoint is nothing more than a set of ideas and has no bearing on an individual’s integrity or intelligence. 
    Never allow political disagreement to become personal.  Always take care to avoid inflammatory language, personal insults, and sweeping generalizations.
    Allow your sensibilities to be guided by basic courtesy.  A good rule of thumb is to follow the same conversational etiquette that you would follow if you were a dinner guest in your coworker’s home.
Handling Harassment
     No employee should feel compelled to agree with or remain silent in the face of aggressive political advocacy.  Attempts to embarrass, ostracize, harass or punish employees for their political ideologies can create a hostile work environment. 
     If you are uncomfortable with the discussion of politics at your workplace, it’s recommended that you make your feelings known and politely assert your wish to avoid political discussion at the office.  If met with resistance or retaliation, report your discomfort to a supervisor or a Human Resources representative. 

~ Anna Hain, EAP Coordinator (resource: Daniel Feerst, LISW-CP, WorkExcel.com)

FRGN Highlights

CCCFamily Resources of Greater Nebraska, P.C. in collaboration with Central Community College recently trained and certified four therapists in Behavioral Intervention Team best practices. The Behavioral Intervention Team (or BIT) is a concept originally designed not as a response to campus shootings and violence, but as a proactive way to address the growing need in the college and university community for a centralized, coordinated, caring, developmental intervention for those in need prior to crisis. The four therapists - Chris Klein, Jordan Allen, Anna Hain, and Meredith McDowell - are now BIT certified to provide and assist Central Community College with ongoing clinical consultations and prevention based interventions as part of their role providing a Student Assistance Program or on-campus counseling at all three Central Community College locations.

 

Waddington Tracyannette marget

Happy anniversary to therapist Tracy, who is celebrating her 9th year with Family Resources of Greater NE, P.C., and to nurse practitioner Annette, who has been providing medication management in our office for a year now. Congrats, ladies!

 

We're up to something...FRGN-Grand Island was selected to decorate a hay bale for the 2015 Nebraska State Fair. Drive by our office on Capital Avenue (North of Wal-Mart) and check out our design!

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