FRGN NewsletterHeaader

BurrETop 6 Tips to Improve Your Relationship

     Is the bond with your partner not quite what it used to be? Has your relationship taken a back seat to work, kids, school, hobbies, etc.? You are not alone! As a Marriage and Family Therapist I see so many struggling couples who want to be happy together again, but aren’t sure how. Be proactive, make your relationship a priority, and try the 6 tips below. (Don’t be afraid to alter the suggestions to fit you and your partner).
6. Fight, but do it Right
     Fighting with your partner does not automatically equal an unhealthy relationship. When done in the right way, disagreements can lead to deeper understanding and feeling more united. Talk to your partner about using a “timeout” technique when tension starts to rise and then come back to the issue in a set amount of time. This will help the issue to be resolved in a calmer manner instead of being pushed to the side. Visit http://www.nathancobb.com/couple-conflict.html to learn more about the “timeout” technique.
5. Express Appreciation
     It is so easy to focus on the negatives of our relationships or those annoying things our partner does. Instead, try to pick out at least one thing every day that makes you appreciate your partner. Take it one step further and actually tell your partner what you appreciate about them and why.
4. Show your Partner Love, in the Ways they want to Receive Love
     Not all of us give and receive love in the same way. If my partner washes the dishes or goes to the grocery store so I don’t have to (“acts of service”), I feel more loved. If I give my partner a genuine compliment (“words of affirmation”), he feels more loved. It’s important to know your partner’s love language and show them love in the ways that make them feel most loved. Check out http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ to take the free quiz to determine your primary love language.
3. Schedule in Time for Each Other
     Set aside time on a regular basis to spend quality time together. If you wait until you have “free time”, it may be months before date night happens. Make time together be a part of your daily routine even if it’s just 15 minutes to “regroup” after the kids go to bed. Also put date nights on the calendar (at least monthly, if possible) to get out and do something new together.
2. Try Something New Together
     Any time you can create a new and fun memory with your partner, do it! Try something together that neither of you have done before. This can create opportunities to practice working as a team, spice things up in your relationship, and give you something to reminisce about later on. Whether it’s a trying a new recipe, seeing a new movie, taking a road trip, or sky diving, just try something new, together!
1. Seek Help Early
     The average couple waits 6 years before seeking help for relationship problems. That’s a long time to live with unhappiness! Don’t wait until your relationship problems are affecting other areas of your life (i.e. work, social life, education) to reach out for help, do it sooner to reduce the likelihood of small issues becoming huge issues. Asking for help doesn’t make you (or your relationship) a failure; it shows strength that you are taking steps in improving your relationship and quality of life.

~ Emily Burr, Therapist

Jordan

9 Ways Procrastination Beats Us and 9 Ways to Beat Procrastination

     According to reports in 2012, it costs businesses roughly $10,396 per year, per employee that is a chronic procrastinator. An additional study in 2012 found that 26% of the population were chronic procrastinators. Clearly procrastination is a big problem for a business’s bottom line. What is the financial, emotional and social impact of procrastination in the home?
     Many clients voice their frustrations with their struggle to complete tasks they at one time had no problem completing. Many mental health factors can influence one’s ability to carry out tasks. Below is a list nine reasons some individuals procrastinate and nine ways to stop, developed by Dr Pamela D Garcy Ph.D.

1. You toss self-compassion to the wind. Researchers reported that individuals who demonstrated less self-compassion tended to feel more stressed during tasks, increasing the likelihood of procrastination.
Try: Talking to yourself with kindness. Accept that you’re human, and be an optimistic coach rather than a negative critic.

2. You’ve learned to procrastinate from role models. Your parents, siblings, or other important role models may have demonstrated a “put it off” attitude which you’ve now adopted as your own.
Try: Talk to yourself about negative consequences these role models faced when they procrastinate. Find new role models to mimic.

3.You don’t think you’ll be effective at the task. You might think “I don’t even know how to do this!”
Try: If you need a skill upgrade get one. Ask for help. Adopt a no failure mindset.

4. You have a bias against a particular type of task. Maybe you think you are bad at a task or that the task is beneath you.
Try: Challenge yourself to open you mind and prove your bias wrong.

5. Your time estimates are a little off. You tend to vastly underestimate how long it will take you to complete the task at hand, and you also underestimate how quickly you’ll get it done.
Try: Make a habit of starting earlier than you think you’ll need to work on completing your task early. This might compensate for any deficiencies in time estimation. Then, give yourself a reward for completing the task early or on time.

6. You focus less on the gains of the future and more on the gains of the present. This focus leads to low frustration tolerance and you’re less likely to persevere when the going gets tough.
Try: Remind yourself about the gains of the future, and de-emphasize the frustration of the present.

7. Your perfectionism gets in the way. You think “it has to be perfect” and this overly demanding standard keeps you from getting started.
Try: Diminish the importance of doing things perfectly and emphasize the importance of completing tasks in a timely fashion.

8. Depression or anxiety (or other conditions) cause you to delay taking action. You might know or suspect you suffer from a mental illness that impacts your motivation, concentration or perseverance.
Try: Proper treatment such as individual therapy with a licensed therapist.

9. Discomfort intolerance leads you to disengage from the task. Procrastination often comes from the belief that discomfort should be avoided.
Try: Challenge your beliefs about tolerating discomfort and revise what you say to encourage yourself to engage in a task, even for a little while. Focus on long term goals.

~ Jordan Allen, Therapist

Lenz

Helping Supervisors Understand the Importance of Emotional Intelligence

     Emotional intelligence is “any array of non-cognitive capabilities, competencies and skills that influences one's ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures" (Reuven Bar-On). 
     Supervisors who do not appreciate or understand the concept of emotional intelligence are at risk for experiencing significant problems.
     One problem is the inability to maximize the value of relationships with employees, and the other is the inability to resolve personal conflicts faster and more successfully.
     The hidden, direct, and ripple effects of these costs can be severe. They include productivity losses, morale problems, turnover, and other human capital risks. And make no mistake, the risk of workplace violence also figures into this cost.
     These risks can be reduced however by offering education about emotional intelligence as part of a large strategy to reduce workforce related risks, while increasing employee job satisfaction.
     Supervisors who are more personally effective in relationships will inspire productivity rather than unwittingly undermine it.
     Family Resources has the largest number of certified and trained EQ-i staff of any practice in the state of Nebraska. Our internationally trained therapists can assess emotional intelligence and help you maximize your individual, group and business potential. This is an innovative tool to increase individual, marital, team and/or company productivity, teamwork and profitability.

~ Lana Lenz, EAP Administrator

FRGN Spotlights!!!

Emerton Seanne     Seanne Larson Emerton, owner of Family Resources of Greater Nebraska, P.C. and licensed marriage and family therapist, recently completed an advanced course on “Adapting Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Everyday Clinical Needs” in Omaha. The training was written and presented by Andrew Bein PhD, LCSW.
      Participants were trained in modalities to use DBT skills to assist clients in effective mood regulation. DBT incorporates cognitive and behavioral strategies to foster change of maladaptive thoughts and behaviors while employing mindfulness techniques to facilitate acceptance of self. Techniques for teaching mindfulness were highlighted, including helping clients learn to focus concentration and to tolerate stress effectively by reducing reactive behavior patterns. Research in neuroscience was presented to show how mindfulness based stress reduction can assist in building neuroplasticity in the brain, ultimately helping individuals to stay happier, more contented, more centered and less anxious. Effective use of these techniques has shown significant reduction in depression and prevention of depression relapse.

 

JMcCasslin

Therapist Jessica McCaslin took an introductory training for Project Rachel, a program which focuses on healing for those suffering the aftermath of abortion. The training covered topics such as the biochemistry of pregnancy and sex, dealing with newly aborted women, teen decision-making and abortion, impact of abortion on fathers, siblings, and others, and the process of healing.


IMG 0273Family Resources of Greater Nebraska's founder/therapist, Seanne, was
recently honored at the Counseling and School Psychology Honor's
Reception at the University of Nebraska-Kearney. She received the
Alumni of the Year Award! (Our clinical director, Doug, presented the award)

 

TillmanD

Congratulations to Doug Tillman, our clinical director, who was
presented with the University of Nebraska-Kearney
 Counseling
and School Psychology Department Outstanding Teaching Award
for 2015-16.

BurrE

Congratulations to our therapist, Emily, who recently
received her "Independent" therapist license.
Way to go the extra mile to serve your clients, Emily!

 

FRGN Newsletter footer left FRGN Newsletter footer in FRGN Newsletter footer fb FRGN Newsletter footer tw