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CHeadrick

Therapist’s Corner…
Grief Resource: Grief.com

     Greetings to celebrate this change of season!!! I am certainly appreciating, and  soaking up, the extra sunshine/light of these summer days. I know that these "perfectly" temperatured days won't last long, so I am working hard to be very thankful for them while they are here. I hope that each of you can also be blessed by them as well.   
     I recently attended an excellent workshop about grief and want to share! The presenter was David Kessler. David has had the opportunity to work closely with Saint Teresa of Calcutta, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, and many grieving people over the years. He introduced us to his website - that could be very useful to any one of you at just the right time. It is Grief.Com and is abounding with much information, in many forms, about many aspects about grief and the process of grieving. Several of the topics include: The 5 Stages of Grieving, Grieving Through Holidays and Anniversaries, Grief Yoga, How to Help Children Grieve, and Information about Hospice and Pallative Care Organizations. The presentations are given in free printed materials, presentations of book selections (with printed 1st chapters), videos, and radio/podcasts. Don't forget to check out the RESOURCES category.  There are no support groups listed yet for Nebraska, but David has recently had some workshops here, so don't give up on the possibilities! Perhaps there are some available in areas that your relatives or friends live in. 
     I would like to close by sharing a key piece of advice from David that makes so much good sense and be consoling as well, I think: "If you've got 100 tears to cry, don't stop at 50! Tears are evidence of love and caring."

~ Carlene Headrick, Therapist

 

Emerton Seanne

Therapist’s Corner…
The Secret of the Internal “A”

     "My husband (or wife) is driving me NUTS! Please fix him. I’ve tried and I’m giving up.”
     I hear these words or variations of the theme in my office on a daily basis.  In fact, I have thought these same words myself at times – because marriage is hard work.   And we can’t really change the other, we can only change ourselves.  The good news is that when we do change ourselves (for the better), it often has a positive ripple effect on our mate and then we end up getting more of what we want from him.  But we can’t go into it for that reason.
     A dear friend and I recently re-read and discussed together a favorite book of ours called The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.   This couple’s writing is easy to read and inspiring for anyone who is interested in personal growth.  Rosamund is a family therapist and a landscape painter.  Benjamin is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music.  My friend and I especially focused on the chapter in the book called “Giving an A.”  It’s a simple but powerful concept described as follows:
     “Michelangelo is often quoted as having said that inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within.  An “A” can be given to anyone in any walk of life…to a waiter, your employer, your spouse, to other drivers in traffic. When you give an A, you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them the room to realize themselves.”
     This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold accountability or speak assertively to our needs.  It’s a way of perceiving the other that creates the shift.  When we see the core beauty within and know it is there, we approach the other with more respect and dignity, without judgment.  In other words, we accept what is and yet work toward the possibility of transformation.  The other often experiences this as grace.  There is an attitude of encouragement which ripens the environment for positive change.
     It works best if we start with ourselves and define how you will look, act and feel when you are giving yourself an “A” for your thoughts and actions towards the other.  Your own internal A is truly the secret.  It has to be done with love and compassion though, not critical self talk.  It’s helpful to say to yourself “Oops! I’ll try again” when you notice you were giving either yourself of the other less than an A in your head.  Thoughts determine behavior.  If you’re hard on yourself or others, you can bet it shows outwardly to others. 
     Journalist Bob Simon’s last story for “60 Minutes” aired on February 23, 2015, entitled “For the Love of Opera.”   It featured James Levine, the New York Metropolitan Opera’s music director.  The maestro returned to work in late 2013 after a devastating fall that left him partially paralyzed.  He loves his work so much that he beat all odds and is back conducting.  The musicians interviewed all described him as the most encouraging and supportive director they have known and, as a result, they give their best.  He truly has mastered the art of giving an A, not only to others but himself.
     Try it and see for yourself.

~ Seanne Emerton, Founder/Therapist (originally published at for Her View From Home online magazine at www.herviewfromhome.com)

 

Lenz

Tips from Our  EAP...
Blues Got You Down?

     Everyone experiences the blues from time to time. Feelings of sadness, hurt, loneliness, stress, or anger can strike along with difficult life experiences. You feel upset. Feelings linger longer than you'd like, but you can still function and you know you will bounce back. Can you learn skills to help you bounce back faster and achieve new personal heights in response to life's difficulties.
Are the Blues a Clue?
     Certain life events or medical problems can cause overwhelming sadness. These conditions include symptoms of depression that require medical treatment or support from mental health professionals. This is not the blues. These are serious health concerns. Conditions such as postpartum depression, seasonal affective disorder (winter depression), grief reactions, medical or drug-induced depressive disorders, and the sudden onset of depressive symptoms in elderly persons may require medical care.
Shooing Away the Blues
     The rule with the blues is being patient with yourself, but persistent with intervention. If you have ruled out depression, get back to your old self by changing how you think and practicing behaviors that produce positive outcomes in your life.
Think Differently
      Much has been said about the power of positive thinking. Don't dismiss it as too simplistic. It is easier to believe that external events control the way you feel and that the environment must change, not you. Sometimes the environment (or other people) should change, but what if change is not forthcoming? The only thing left is altering your reaction. This is the pathway to empowerment and the way ordinary people have accomplished extraordinary things.
Don't Deny It. 
     When you feel yourself slipping into the blues, don't deny it. Instead, take charge of your thoughts, and decide, "I am not going to let this happen. I am not going to let this drag me down." Then take action. Do things that will cause you to think in more positive ways. Do things you enjoy, talk to people who will lift you up, seek out humor, dress cheerfully, alter your routine, and get proactive with important goals, exciting plans, and magnificent ideas that you have.
Focus on Health. 
     See your doctor regularly and get the proper nutrition and exercise. It will improve your stamina, make you feel better, and positively influence your mood. Eating properly, especially in the morning, limiting caffeine, reducing the intake of sugar, and taking a multiple vitamin daily can help your body and its ability to cope with stress.
My Life Seems Mundane
     If you drift along, only responding to cause and effects around you, you can expect "Monday morning blues" more often.  Life does not have to be mundane. Being proactive, thinking and acting "upstream" to prevent life crises, acting on goals, and fighting procrastination will invigorate your life. The payoff is feeling the blues less often.
What Family Resources Can Do
     Family Resources can evaluate and refer you to medical treatment for depression. If you are not depressed, our therapists can help you examine issues that are making you blue. Ambivalence about your job, unresolved conflicts in relationships, new challenges in your life, adjusting to losses, and financial difficulties are just a few issues that can give you the blues.

~ Lana Lenz, EAP Coordinator (resource: Daniel Feerst, LISW-CP, WorkExcel.com)

Welcome Back!!

JMcCasslin     Family Resources of Greater Nebraska, P.C. would like to welcome back Jessica McCaslin. Jessica is serving the Broken Bow area. After two years as a stay-home mom and living in another area of Nebraska, Jessica is excited to return to counseling.   
     During her two years away, Jessica kept connected to Family Resources as the social media/website manager, as well as attending continuing education classes for counseling. Thanks to a state grant, Jessica is currently attending classes through the University of Nebraska at
Kearney to earn a licensure in alcohol and drug counseling. 

 

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