FRGN newsletter header 2018

JMcCasslinTherapist’s Corner…Give With Love

     I was standing outside the grocery store the other day, ringing bells with a friend and our children for the Salvation Army, when I saw one of my clients enter the store. He went in quickly, with barely a glance in our direction. Being privileged to know his story, I also knew he didn't have the money to spare, and would likely need the services provided by the Salvation Army.
     He was in the store for a few minutes, getting the items he came for. When he came out of the store, he walked right over to us, smiled, and stuck a folded bill into the donation bucket. We thanked him, and he walked away.
     I pondered his actions in my mind. How often have people who have a lot give only a little, and those with so little give whatever they can? Even I'm guilty of withholding generosity from others because I make a judgment call about their intentions or the "real level" of their need.
     I recently read a post from a friend who sponsors a giving tree during this time of year. She was asking people to adopt a family or to buy items on a giving tree without questioning why the family was using the service, or assuming the gifts would be returned for the cash. She reminded her readers that we don't know what others are going through, the things they deem necessary, or the reasons they may do something. We're only asked to care and to give with love.
     So I ask, during this season, and all others, that we remember to give with love. Perhaps it's a dollar here or there. Perhaps it is spending time with our children or elderly instead of being on the computer or phone. Maybe it's a meal for someone who just had a baby, or someone who has an ill family member.
     We never truly know what someone is going through, or how our act of kindness will affect them. Thankfully, it's usually a domino effect, and one act of kindness will lead to another, and to another, and so on...

~Jessica McCaslin, Therapist

LenzTips from Our EAP...Dealing with The Office Grinch

     We all have days at work where we find ourselves feeling and acting cranky. If you have too many of those days in a row, others may start to refer to you as The Office Grinch. Having a Grinch in the office will have negative effects on the entire
office atmosphere. Grinches stress us out, which impairs our ability to perform at our best at work.
     Grinches come in all shapes and sizes, but here's a few personalities you may recognize:
The Underminer - places the blame on others for failures/challenges to make themselves look better.
The Drama Queen - "stirs the pot" and gossips or badmouths others to increase drama at the workplace.
Whiner - complains about all the perceived hardships that he/she faces, not considering how hard others are working or their
difficulties.
     Managers and supervisors have the job of corralling the Grinches and taking action; however, that isn't an easy job. Some Grinches are given run of the
office because they can be
overwhelming and
difficult, and no one wants to challenge them or knows how to stop the behaviors.
     Sometimes managers ignore the Grinch, hoping the problem will disappear. The manager may lack the skills or bravery necessary to confront the Grinchy employee. However, ignoring doesn't solve the problem, and often leaves other employees feeling upset. Some managers try to sugarcoat their confrontation instead of using constructive criticism, outlining goals, and offering clear consequences.
     Another ineffective manager may ask another employee to deal with the Grinch. Obviously this can cause issues with respect, hierarchies, stress, and roles at the workplace. On the other hand, some managers are too confrontational, and they end up adding to the problem.
     However, there are managers and supervisors who are very good at managing office Grinches. They often use the following characteristics to take care of a problem before it becomes a big problem:
    • Address quarrels, rumors, and gossip immediately so it doesn't get worse
    • Know each employee as a person but appeal to their sense of team or their group identity
    • Lead by example
    • Show respect, professionalism, caring, sincerity, and other values that need to be promoted
    • Use constructive criticism and problem-solve with the team
    • Give employees every opportunity to succeed
    • Use discipline and set boundaries and consequences
    • Follow-through with consequences
     That said, don't forget the moral of Dr. Suess' story - even the most toxic person has the capacity to change, but it will be their choice to change that will help their heart grow three times bigger. If they choose to continue their ways, it's probably time to ask them to leave Whoville.

~Lana Lenz, EAP Coordinator (adapted from “How the Grinch Stole the Workplace” by Erin Gloeckner, Jan. 22, 2015 erin@nonprofitrisk.org)

Happy Holidays

From the Staff at

Family Resources of Greater Nebraska, P.C.

Please note the office is closing early Dec 24th at noon,

and we are closed all day Dec. 25th and 26th.

 

 

newsletter footer 2018 FRGN Newsletter footer in FRGN Newsletter footer fb FRGN Newsletter footer tw